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Monday, November 27, 2017

Focus on what you have Not what you don't have (but if the things you don't have is something bad its good too): 100 things I thankful

Waikato River
Auzubillahi minas syaitanir rajim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... Assalamualaikum...

Its been a while I feel like to write so much, that my eyes been crying. Tears Keep falling.  And I feel so sad. I couldn't sleep again. Keep wanting something that I don't have. Looking at others what they have. O Allah, how a human can be so greedy. Yes on how I can be so greedy. I admit to that, I'm no perfect woman. I was hoping by what I write I could heal myself. If not tonight maybe tomorrow. Hopefully In Sha Allah.

While I was crying, I remembered a post by someone shared from a book in Instagram by sister Eslimah, Masya Allah, yes, I was planning to do this when I saw the post but I keep procrastinate. You know me. I lost my vibe and soul to write for almost 5 years,since my father passed away. I have ideas but then I keep it, I have travellog but I kept held it, I don't know why.

Well anyway, She said there and shared make a list of you thankful about 100 things you should be grateful in this life until now. Then I read somewhere too, make a list or exercise once a while to list the things that you being grateful to Allah. Its a positive vibe. Positive mind, Positive Thinking. Its simple law of attraction, what you focus grow more, what you do will attract more that things. So here I am trying my self to be more positives towards myself, towards my Creator, Allah.

Okay here I go, I hope I will made it to list 100 things I'm grateful. I hope I will succeed. What bout you??? Come Join Me list the things we thankful.

100 things I'm thankful To Allah. Alhamdulillah

  1. I'm still breathing, yes I'm Alive
  2. I can write, I'm writing now, I have fingers and hands.
  3. I have my Mother that loves me unconditionally. Her Forgiveness Her Duaa. 
  4. I have my sisters, my sister in law, my brothers, my brothers in law
  5. My nephews and nieces
  6. I have a laptop
  7. I have IPhone 4s
  8. I have a house, a roof on top of me that protect from the rain and hot suns
  9. I have 2 car even its old
  10. I have clothes
  11. I'm a Muslim since born, and Alhamdulillah I'm still a Muslim struggling to be a mukmin
  12. I can eat, I can digest
  13. I have whole body to walk to run to dance, voice to laugh, everything can pray can do good
  14. I have some savings in my bank
  15. I have friends, best friends that will be there if I need help, someone to listens too
  16. I have the opportunity to have education, preschool, highschool, pre uni,university, higher degree
  17. I have electricity, I have sources of clean water.
  18. While writing this I realize I can hear musics, i can hear the sounds of bird, insects I can see yes I have eyes
  19. I have the chances to travel around Malaysia, having opportunity to travel to New Zealand, Thailand, Singapore, Sabah and Singapore. I treasure it very much.
  20. I have a blog, hey I have access to Internet, yes Wifi.
  21. A stranger smile at me, I like to smile to stranger actually and they return it is a joy to me
  22. I have television
  23. I have a very large area at my house. Masya Allah how I like ths my hometown
  24. Its raining seasons, its very cold this year and I like it.
  25. I able to listen sister Yasmin Mogahed talk on Umbrella of Darkness: Healing Through Emptiness, and receive a summary on the next day talk.
  26. I have few lands that need to work on
  27. Forgiveness from other people, my mom especially
  28. I can still ask for taubah from Allah
  29. I can see the moon and sun, sunrise, sunset, Full moon, Half moon
  30. The ability to drive, I love driving so much
  31. Ability to learn from mistakes
  32. Musics that grab my attentions and understands
  33. I don't have any major sickness Alhamdulillah
  34. A home cooked meal
  35. The opportunity to take a flight and be safe with it.
  36. Access to medication
  37. Suprises
  38. Celebrating with close family my 36th Birthday
  39. Able to help others even its not much
  40. Have the ability to listen attentively to others. 
  41. Able to hide own sorrow and sadness
  42. Crying to Allah
  43. Able to read Al-Quran and to listen Al-Quran
  44. Have Formal Islamic Education when since young and then through out High School and University and Alhamdulillah keep learning
  45. Able learn and study more
  46. The ability to have empathy and sympathy towards others
  47. Have the opportunity to go camping, trekking, hiking when was younger.
  48. Able to take care my moom when She is older, able to take my father when I have the chances
  49. Receive a lot of gifts from cousins, aunt, sisters, brothers, friends, students, mother, father, nieces, nephews so many things and many people given so many things as far I remember.
  50. Able to play online games, up to date with current technology
  51. When you find something you thought you had lost, recently I thought I lost the cookbook I write with my recipe, but Alhamdulillah I found it.
  52. Fresh countryside walks
  53. Seeing Rainbows so many times in this years, when I return to home from work
  54. Had the opportunity to work even as part time for almost 2 years, hope will get those opportunity soon again.
  55. I like to dream, yes my ability to dreams. Even it might impossible or hard to achieve or takes times.
  56. Uncontrollable laughter, yes I did this a lot, I hope will not so much so that I will not cry in hereafter,well I do cry this a lot
  57. Opportunity to be around for My late father till he is in Ground
  58. Being able to see colors
  59. Bad days that make you appreciate the good ones
  60. Strength when even you feel you feel very weak
  61. Weekdays, Weekends everyday
  62. Shops, Groceries, Night Market, Sunday Morning Market, Gosh How I love going there
  63. Being Treat by someone, especially good food
  64. The Stars
  65. New Zealand, to able to go around those beautiful places that Allah creates, and Ya Allah just imagine how heaven much more than that. Yet we still struggling here to achive that. delaying and everything
  66. Fresh Air
  67. My Childhood Memories, yes my memories with my Late father how I cherish them, even some I forgot some I can remember how sweet his smile always, how he sometimes scold me.
  68. I have the opportunity to learn cook from my mother and my late father when I was home
  69. My Mind, my beautiful healthy mind, though sometimes can be unhealthy but we make it
  70. Feeling being love by my family
  71. Old photographs- who doesn’t love going through those?
  72. My Past, My bad past, my good past, it thought me so much
  73. My healthy mother, I was able to learn a lot when she is sick, I was a rebel but somehow I survive been strong, beside being the youngest one
  74. Ability to watch movies eat n drink good food
  75. Able to go to Redang Island, so many times the blue water always gets me. Love it
  76. Learn to baby sit my nephews and nieces since 9 years old making me kind like loving mother (lol, i'm laughing reading this) but its true I love kids so much. They make me laugh
  77. Giving Love, Feel Love, Almost feel love, want love ability to feel it is more than enough
  78. I know I'm no miss universe, but Alhamdulillah Allah have provide me good appearances, tell me when you could see me in any my pictures (hahahah) I have stop crying and smiling so much)
  79. Driving on an open road, with no traffic. Even driving with traffic, I love driving
  80. Able to give sadaqa' even its not much Alhamdulillah
  81. Living in country that can be considered very peaceful without wars, big wars
  82. I'm able to have a proper meal/lunch/dinner peacefully with My Mother almost everyday
  83. Able To sleep soundly at night, most of the time, only sometimes can't sleep. Have things to write or to think.
  84. Many choices of clothes, shirts, scarves
  85. Have Cleanser, shampoo, 
  86. Have a blanket, actually more, have few pillows
  87. Have Fans at home
  88. Used to have Cat Tompok, but now he's gone, But Allah sent a new cat, even still feel a stranger we could care for them. Always this house have kittens and cats coming
  89. Good movies that gives meaning, good songs that Inspire me
  90. The Urge to Improve myself even its up and down
  91. Family gatherings and holidays
  92. Able to visit my fathers graves
  93. The Prophets, Islam, Allah mercy and love to me
  94. I was born in this world until this age
  95. Have great teachers, educators that inspire me
  96. The mountains, the animals, the sea, the islands the beaches, the fish, Masha Allah everything surrounds us
  97. Angels that protect us
  98. Al-Quran, yes it is much so important to be grateful
  99. Able to reach home safely after sending my nephew at Perak
  100. Able to hug My mother, sister, nephew, yes the warm feeling of hugging being hugged back
  101. I was about to write more.....Masya Allah Its can never be counted can be listed everything here
Yes there are so many things we should be grateful in Life. Gratitude. our syukr To Allah, He provides with many things continuously, why does heart sad with things you don't have. Don't, please don't. do the things what you have what you can. 

Lots of things we can be grateful with and with Lots of things we don't have also we can be grateful Ma Sha Allah is how you think, how your mind perceive it.

And I want to remind myself if I ever get sad again I would take a look on this post again to myself. And maybe add or make another 100 list of things, it is still not finish, this only revolved around me. It can be more things that we are unseen, things that had happens, things that will happen.

Alhamdulillah the things I wanna achieve today is to stop crying and I have a post to publish from deepest of my heart Alhamdulillah.

Terima kasih, Thank You, Syukran, Arigato, Shieh Shieh, Rumba Nandri, Kamsahamnida for reading this entry. Please do come again.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

A Sacred Conversation by Yasmin Mogahed

Auzubillahi minas syaitanir rajim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... Assalamualaikum...

Last weekend I have to opportunity to hear Yasmin Mogahed Lecture titled Umbrella of Darkness (in writing the summary of what I hear).

I can't go the second day of speech, of her which is title A Sacred Conversation, but kindly enough a  good friend of mine shared the summary which she got from someone sharing it. May Allah reward all of you with kindness.

So I will just shared the summary here to, may it can bring help and benefit to all of us who read in the sake of Allah In Sha Allah. 

A Sacred Conversation


We have to be very careful of what we love most e.g. what we unconsciously love could be status or what other people think of us or money. Because then you become a slave to those things. This is a type of worship.

In the Quran - he and his messengers will war against those who do riba and will not give up riba
For example, when we worship what people say, the reality is that we can become enslaved to this without us realizing it.

Ubudiyah - is bigger than just rituals. It is the essence why I live, how I live and how I act and why I act that way.

Allah did not create us to be rich and worship Allah, or have a certain status and worship Allah. We are created for one single purpose and that is to worship Allah.

A lot of us say la ila ha ilallah but we take other things as ‘ila’. Its not that we are praying to it but we take it as the centre of our life. It is loved as we should only love Allah. And those who believe are most intense about loving Allah.

An ‘ila’ is what I put at the centre of my life, most terrified of loosing.

What happens when we love other than Allah e.g. our children. When you love in the wrong way, it will cause the most damage humanly possible to you and others. Our greatest pain is not from lost but from loving something as we should only love Allah. And when those things are taken away, that is what causes the worse of human sufferings.

For example, when Allah gives us power, money, status, it becomes a test for us because we love it as we should only love Allah. What happens is we loose ourselves. When we love our children as we love Allah, we feel we’re not allowed to have your own time and you would feel guilty about that. Because we believe our identity is only as a mother and therefore our life revolves only around your children. As it should be in the way with your relationship is with Allah e.g. soccer practice is at the time of salah, so your children are your focal point and not Allah. When you loose balance in this way, your marriage suffers as well. The foundation of the family is not the children, it is the marriage. If you make the foundation of the family your children, you become roommates to you husband and parents. Once the children move out, you get separated etc. The children will feel more safe when you have a strong bond with your husband. The more secure you are in the marriage the happier your children will be in the family.

Every problem in society has a root cause. For example, a mother has a son and makes him the Sun and her life revolves around him. And now her entire existence is all about him. You’ll raise a narcissist that thinks the world revolves around him. You’re not doing him a favour. What are you doing to yourself? Your centre should never be a human being. One of the signs of Qiama is that a mother will give birth to her master. You’re stunting his growth not develop properly into a man. When you raise a momma’s boy that does not have a backbone, he will not standup for the truth. When he gets married, you will not let go and that’s when the problem happens with in laws. Therefore, that which you love as you should only love Allah becomes the greatest pain in your life.

There is no centre that I revolve around except Allah at the centre. La ila ha ilallah. There is no ila except Allah and it teaches me how to put everything in its proper place.

Because this kind of injustice brings very dangerous consequences. We have to come back to balance and give everyone their rights to your children and husband and others and it doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice.  If something is not right, we should correct it not sacrifice yourself for the sake of everyone around you. You can’t be a good mother, daughter, wife unless you are healthy (healthy meaning having a healthy relationship with Allah). You may be able to go for so long, but there will come a time where you’ll snap. You have to take care of yourself.

What does it mean to say la ila ha ilallah? These are the questions we have to ask ourselves and recalibrate our lives. We all makes mistakes and loose sight of the destination but we can recalibrate and realign our lives.

Questions & Answers 1:

 1. Modern idea of gender roles is an extreme when we say there is no difference in the role?
 How do we recalibrate to that. It is Islam and we should not revolve our life around family or career etc. What we do to build a solid foundation with Allah. Only with a solid relationship with Allah can we have a stable relationship with our family, work, etc

 2. We need to have Allah in the centre but also should not take garbage in our life. 
 Allah swt does not approve of zalim. One of the rights in a marriage is to be faithful. If husband is being unfaithful, we should not accept it.

 Our hearts are like a gas tank in our car. Its like a vessel and was created to be filled with one type of thing. At the core of the vessel, there is a core compartment of your heart and that compartment saved for your Ila. That core centre of the heart must be reserved for Allah. 

 What happens if you put something else in that core compartment of your heart. Its like pouring orange juice into the tank of the heart and destroys it.

 When we put something else in the heart, that is why we experience a greater level kind of sufferings. 

 Often time in our journey, we put other things in our heart where only Allah should be. And we blame Allah but its like blaming the car manufacturer for the damage when we pour orange juice into the tank.

 There is a compartment for children, family, husband, money, work but when these things are at the core of your heart then it destroys you. What ever you love most becomes your master. People can control you because what they think defines you. 

E.g. We don’t put on social media our real lives, we only put the photoshopped flawless pictures, as we want to show that our life is perfect, as the core of our hearts is attached to people and what people think.

Social media:

 We use social media to fill a void in our life. The need to get approval from other people. The problem is everything is fake and we are obsessed with appearances. Shift our focus to what really matters. The problem is when it becomes your focal in your life. What we are taking in into our hearts and into our minds effects us.

 For example, look at our newsfeed. Ask yourself what’s on there. Food, make up tutorials, etc. What you take in, is what you become! When that’s what you’re seeing, reading, it is focus on every single day. What it does is that it shifts your focus to these things into what matters to you in your life. 

 What you focus on Grows!!

 Impact of social media on ourselves:

 A. Feeling of inferiority, inadequate, not good enough

 B. Misaligned idea of what matters most - skews our focus to dunya
When your entire world is just about e.g. appearances than that becomes what matters most. When all we strive for is dunya..that is very dangerous as we loose sight of what really matters, our main purpose in life. And we compare our life to someone else’s photoshopped life and we will become dissatisfied with your own life. But they’re life is not real..perfected on Social media etc

 C. Prophet saw says we should be discreet about our blessings - why? Is it because people are evil? It is about human nature. When other may be desperately wanting what you have, it’s natural to feel jealous not because they are evil. Its human nature to feel bad.

 D. And they are also real evil people out there - surah An Nas : evil people who would seek to harm us e.g. evil eye, sihir etc

Celebrity Culture:

Sometimes people become popular for benefitting others e.g. dai’ etc. We may put a person on a higher plane in terms of their stature etc. It doesn’t mean they are superhuman. Any benefit from the person is from Allah, they are just a medium/ just a reflector. They are not the source of light, they are only the mirror or reflector of the light of Allah to you and that is why u benefit. The light doesn’t change if the mirror is cracked.

Questions & Answers 2;

 1. Marriage is not a destination..it is part of the journey to Allah. It is a powerful enabler but its meant to get closer to Allah not to replace the process of getting closer to Allah. Nothing should come before worship to Allah.

 2. How can we improve kusyuk in salah?

What do we want to focus on is Allah in Salah but we have troubles at times to do it. So what are we really focusing in salah..chances are we are focusing on the same thing we are focusing on outside of salah e.g. career, job etc. What’s in our hearts fills our mind. If you want to know what’s filling your heart just look at your thoughts. E.g. thinking about work because that’s what we’re thinking off outside salah.

We need to look inward and understand our deepest motivations.

 3. How do we deal with so many negative news?

Caution on constant bombardment of negative news! It impacts the way you are thinking as the news always has an agenda.

 4. Challenges at work, how do we deal with it?

Ask Allah for ease and ask for help from Allah and seek inspiration and strength from our prophets in the past when we are struggling. We should look at how they dealt with for us to get inspiration. For example, Nabi Nuh as suffered for 950 years and he supplicated to Allah to give him victory. Most repeated dua of prophet saw - ‘do not leave me, even for a blink of an eye’ but we have to be patient but ask for help.

Asking for ease is not asking for perfection, it is asking for ability to be able to cope and be at ease inside regardless of what happens outside and asking Allah not to test you with all the difficult tests. 

Sacred Conversation with Allah: building the roots to Allah

 1. SALAH - we always makes it less a priority taking care of our soul as opposed to our bodies. We neglect the needs of our hearts and focus on the needs of our bodies. For example, when we miss sahur in ramadhan..its like the end of the work but when we miss fajr prayers, its ok.. we’re worried about missing one meal for sahur for a body which will will and decompose when we die but we’re starving your soul that live forever. If I completely starve or corrupted my soul, it will be forever and will be stuck with it for eternity. Ultimate success is to support the soul.

 2. ADZKAR - Sunnah that has been neglected and the cause of so much sufferings today and there is duas for everything. 

 Dua jewels that is so critical for SURVIVAL: 

 A. Morning Supplications - be consistent even if it’s a few after fajr prayer as close to the morning as possible

 B. Evening Supplications - say it between asar and maghrib

 C. Sleep supplication - one of the tricks of syaitan is to do all or nothing..this is a trick. Allah loves consistent effort even if its small

 D. Istighfar - prophet saw used to do 100 x a day. Allah 
 • Opens away from every difficulty 
 • Save from anxiety
 • Give provision from sources you can never imagine and find a solution 

 E. La haula wala quwata illa billah - it is a cure and. An opener. When you have a big problem, say this a lot and it will oen the door to the solution 

 F. Salawat Prophet - Allah suffices you..kifayah

 3. Read the QURAN 

When you are consistent with these 3 things is it will fill your heart with the right stuff. When your heart is healthy, your life, your relationship will be ok too. In Sha Allah.

Terima kasih, Thank You, Syukran, Arigato, Shieh Shieh, Rumba Nandri, Kamsahamnida for reading this entry. Please do come again.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Tonight Song: Chrysanthemum Terrace

Auzubillahi minas syaitanir rajim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... Assalamualaikum...

Always love the erhu version by Andersen Erhu Cover Chrysanthemum Terrace
This sang by Jay Chou: Jay Chou Version
OST for: Curse of the Golden Flower

The tears that sparkle in your eyes carry a hint of hurt within their gentleness
The white and wretched crescent moon uncovers past grievances
The night has stretched on for so long that is has solidified into frost
Who is he that stands on the balcony, cold and forlorn?

The raindrops gently rebound on the ruby-red window sill
My whole life is written down on a piece of paper, blown about by the wind
My dream is far away, reduced into a spire of smoke
It dances on the wind, and forms into your silhouette

The chrysanthemums have wilted, the whole ground is covered in their hurt, and your smile has yellowed with age
Flowers fall, hearts are broken, and without a sound, the worries in my heart lie down silently
The north wind whirls, the night has yet to rise, and I can't seem to cut your shadow away
Left alone, I become double on the surface of the lake

The flower reaches its twilight, and its petals float down in glory
The wilted and diminished ways of the world means that Man's future is bleak
With sorrow, I think it's better for us not to cross the river, my tormented heart is torn into two
I worry for you, that you will never be able to step onto shore, and will have to spend your whole life drifting

Whose lands are these? They are rife with the sounds of war
Decked in full armor, I cry out my pain and my sufferings
The sky brightens slightly, and you let out a soft sigh
An entire night of melancholy, and it ends in such gentle regret

The chrysanthemums have wilted, the whole ground is covered in their hurt, and your smile has yellowed with age Flowers fall,
hearts are broken, and without a sound, the worries in my heart lie down silently
The north winds whirls, the night has yet to rise, and I can't seem to cut your shadow away
Left alone, I become double on the surface of the lake

The chrysanthemums have wilted, the whole ground is covered in their hurt, and your smile has yellowed with age
Flowers fall, hearts are broken, and without a sound, the worries in my heart lie down silently
The north wind whirls, the night has yet to rise, and I can't seem to cut your shadow away
Left alone, I become double on the surface of the lake

Terima kasih, Thank You, Syukran, Arigato, Shieh Shieh, Rumba Nandri, Kamsahamnida for reading this entry. Please do come again.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Ya Allah

Auzubillahi minas syaitanir rajim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... Assalamualaikum...


Ya Allah

Jadikanlah aku hari ini lebih baik dari semalam, dan jadikanlah aku pada hari esok lebih baik daripada hari ini.

Ya Allah, sungguh aku bersungguh untuk tidak cuba menghubungi. Maka jagalah hati ini ya Allah. Sungguh padaMu aku berserah.

Setiap kali teringat pada ayat yang dia katakana itu, pasti masih terasa ngilu terasa diri sangat hina. Maka akal berkata sekiranya ia menyakitkan kenapa masih membaca lagi, hati berkata untuk menyedarkan diri sendiri.

Sungguh masa hadapan itu adalah rahsia Kamu, namun pada waktu sekarang inilah yang Kau telah tetapkan pada ku, maka setakat ini sahaja yang aku mampu fikirkan dan harapkan, takut berharap pada angan yang tidak sudah tapi sungguh megharapkan agar benda yang lebih baik untukku, penghidupanku, agamaku, matiku, keluargaku, In Sya Allah.

Namun Setiap hari diri ini mengharap syurga Mu untuk diriku, ibubapaku. Kerana itu sahaja yang kurasa paling pasti dari Mu.

Acap kali air mata mengalir atas dosa-dosa yang kulakukan, atas rasa rindu terhadap perkara yang masih belum wujud dalam hidupku. Rindu terhadap manusia yang telah meninggal dunia dari hidupku.

Ya Allah, diri ini masih sakit, sakit fizikal, sakit dihati, sakit diaqal, moga-moga ia semua adalah kifarah bagiku. Ameen In Sha Allah

Terima kasih, Thank You, Syukran, Arigato, Shieh Shieh, Rumba Nandri, Kamsahamnida for reading this entry. Please do come again.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Prophet Muhammad s.a.w and Saiditina Khadijah Khuwailid r.a

Auzubillahi minas syaitanir rajim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... Assalamualaikum...

Kisah mereka akan senantiasa tersemat di hati, malah sangat agung dari segala-galanya

Malangnya biarpun tidak dinyatakan.

Rata-rata sekiranya ada kisah wanita  seperti ini pada hari ini kebanyakan mesti dicelah atau dibuat lawak, dihina.

Benarnya mereka jauh dibezakan darinya, tapi tidakkan mereka akur tiada halangan dari segi itu.

dan malang juga aku tidak mampu menjadi sepertinya, kerana tiada yang hampir atau follow sepenuhnya Nabi Muhammad s.a.w.

Ya Allah sungguhnya...hanya Kamu dan Rasul Mu.

Terima kasih, Thank You, Syukran, Arigato, Shieh Shieh, Rumba Nandri, Kamsahamnida for reading this entry. Please do come again.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Esok Cuti!!! ^_^

Auzubillahi minas syaitanir rajim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... Assalamualaikum...

Alhamdulillah. Esok boleh siapkan kerja rumah. yay!

p/s: He is totally right, hasbunallahu wa ni'mal wakeel :)

Terima kasih, Thank You, Syukran, Arigato, Shieh Shieh, Rumba Nandri, Kamsahamnida for reading this entry. Please do come again.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Owais Al Qarni- A story of the value of a Mother

Auzubillahi minas syaitanir rajim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... Assalamualaikum warahmatullah...

source link: MosaicofMuslimwoman

This story is not about a woman, but a story about a man who cared for his mother and the value that Islam gives to mothers. It is one of my favorite stories. Owais was the only man who was mentioned by name by the Prophet ﷺ without him having met him. Even Mohammed al Fatih, who was mentioned by the Prophet ﷺ, was not mentioned by name, just by his victory. What did Owais do that was so great? He took care of his mother. This is the story of Owais.
One day, Omar ibn Khattab, Abu Bakr, Ali and other companions were sitting with the Prophet ﷺ at the mosque when the Prophet ﷺ said to them, “Tomorrow, a man will enter from this door to pray among you and he will be from the people of Paradise.”

Abu Huraira relates that the next day he hurried to Fajr prayer at the Mosque and lined up in the first row in hopes that he would be the man that the Prophet ﷺ was referring to the day before. There were many other Companions standing alongside him who also had the same idea. The Prophet ﷺ conducted Fajr prayer and sat down. The Companions were eager to know who this man of Paradise was, but it didn’t seem the Prophet ﷺ was going to mention it. So they sat and waited for a while and some of them had to go, but others still waited. These included Abu Huraira, Abu Bakr, Ali, and Umar.

Just then walked in a man, who was so poor his clothes were dirty and torn. The Prophet ﷺ immediately stood up and smiled from ear to ear and welcomed the man. The man asked the Prophet ﷺ to pray for him. The Prophet ﷺ raised his hands in duaa and said, “Oh Allah please grant this man a position in the highest levels of Paradise, Al Ferdous, with me.” So then when the man left, Abu Huraira asked the Prophet ﷺ,”Was that him?!” “Yes,” replied the Prophet ﷺ.

“But oh Messenger of Allah, he is nothing more than a poor slave, how can that be him?” asked Abu Huraira. “Oh Abu Huraira,” said the Prophet ﷺ. “What can I do for him if his fate in this world is to be poor? His position on the Day of Judgment is that of a king. Abu Huraira, the ones that have the most value to Allah are those that are pure, starving, whose faces are dusty, who are not known on this Earth, but known in the skies. If they want to get married, no one would marry them. And if they get sick, the do not pass on the sickness to anyone (they are alone), and if they attend something their presence is not felt, and if they leave, no one notices, and when they die, no one attends their funeral. These people however, are not forgotten by Allah and they are held with so much value.”

“Oh Messenger of Allah, show me one of them,” said Abu Huraira.

“I will tell you about Owais Al Qarni,” replied the Prophet ﷺ. The Companions looked at each other, each trying to recall if they know a man named Owais. They didn’t know that he was talking about a man that they will meet years after the Prophet ﷺ has passed away.

“He is a man of medium height, head held high despite being poor with very dark skin. I can see him putting his right arm on his left arm and weeping as he reads Quran. He is wearing a cloak of poor wool,” said the Prophet ﷺ, smiling as if he can see him as Angel Gabriel is describing him. “On his left shoulder, there is a white mark the size of a dirham that is the effect of an illness. He is unknown among the people but known in the skies. His biggest sign is the mother he deeply cares for. When he makes duaa, it is granted. He will come among the people on the Day of Judgment and as they are entering Paradise, he will be stopped. When he asks why, Allah will tell him he can bring whomever he wants into Paradise with him, as much as 200,000 people (the amount of two large tribes).”

“Ali and Umar, if you are ever to find this man, ask him to make duaa for you and ask Allah for your forgiveness,” said the Prophet ﷺ.

.            .            .            .            .            .            .            .            .            .            .

Elsewhere in Yemen, a young boy is herding his sheep, the sun beating down on his shoulders where a white mark stands alone on his dark skin. He is frustrated from being poor and having to struggle and take care of his mother. His father died when he was a young child, leaving him the man of the house. When the boy was seventeen, his mother lost her vision, and his responsibilities toward her increased as he now had to help her move around.

One night, he was carrying a candle and helping his mother move around the house when the candlelight went out and they were left in darkness. He could not see a thing. Then his mother, who was used to finding her way in the darkness, started leading him.  This turn of events affected him deeply and he started to ponder on the weight of light and darkness.

The next day, the seventeen-year-old Owais bumped into a Muslim man who was coming to Yemen to spread Islam. He stopped the man and asked him to tell him something from the Quran that his Prophet ﷺ has said.

So the man recites a verse from Surat Al Nur:
{…And he for whom Allah has not appointed light, for him there is no light} (Quran 24:40)

This really hit home for Owais as he remembered what had happened the night before with his mother. “Tell me more about what your Prophet ﷺ says,” said Owais.

So the man, noticing that Owais was poor, chose this Hadith. “What am I to this world and what is this world to me? The example of me and this world is that of a man who walks in the heat of the desert and sits under the shade of a tree for an hour, then walks away and leaves it.”

Owais upon hearing this Hadith, immediately said his shahadah and became a Muslim at the age of 17. Then came the question, will he migrate to see the Prophet ﷺ? As much as Owais wanted to, he couldn’t and wouldn’t leave his mother. Some people suggested that he let some neighbors take care of her while he was gone but he said that he was the one who should take care of her and turned down the opportunity to see the Prophet ﷺ. This sacrifice for his mother and the way Owais had devoted himself to his mother his whole life was the reason that he was mentioned by the Prophet ﷺ. Also because of his deep faith and his lack of attachment to the material things in this world.

So when Ali bin Abu Talib left Yemen with a group of new Muslims to go back to Madinah, it was without the boy he bumped into on his way there. He had no idea that it the Owais that the Prophet ﷺ had mentioned and the boy didn’t know it was Ali bin Abu Talib.

3 years later, the Prophet ﷺ passed away and years after that Abu Bakr also passed away. When Umar ibn AlKhattab became Khalifa, he would go around all the people during Hajj and call out, “OWAIS, OWAIS, Is there anyone here named Owais?” He would go to the group that came from Yemen and ask them if a man named Owais is among them. But no one had heard of this man. Umar realized it was just as the Prophet ﷺ described to him, that he was a man who was unknown among the people.

Year after year, Umar would go around at Hajj and call out and ask for Owais. One year during Hajj, he stood at Mount Arafat and asked all the people making Hajj to stand up. Then he told everyone to sit down except those from Yemen. From that group, he told them all to sit down except those from Murad and from that group, he told them all to sit down except those from Qarn. One man was left standing. “Are you a Qarni?” asked Umar ibn Al Khattab. The man replied in the affirmative. “Do you know Owais?” “Yes, he is my nephew. But what would you want with him. He is but a poor, forgotten man,” replied the Yemeni man.

Umar started to weep. “This man is not just a poor, forgotten man. He is a man who will choose 200,000 people to come with him into heaven. Is he with you?”
“No, he is not,” replied the man.
“Is his mother living,” asked Umar.
“Yes,” replied the man.

“I know he will not ever leave her, as this is what the Prophet ﷺ said,” replied Umar.
Umar searched for Owais for ten years. A year before the death of Umar, Owais’s mother passed away. That year, Umar stood up at Mount Arafat again and said to the people of Yemen, “Is Owais al Qarni among you?” A Yemeni man said, “He is that sheppard standing over there.” Umar became so excited and went to look for Ali. “Ali! Ali! We found him!” he called out.

Umar and Ali approached Owais and asked him, “Are you Owais al Qarni?”
“Yes,” replied a surprised Owais. “Show me your shoulder,” replied Umar. Owais showed them his shoulder and they were able to see the mark that the Prophet ﷺ mentioned. “Is your mother with you?” asked Umar. Owais replied that his mother had passed away. “Ah, it is just as the Prophet ﷺ said it would be then,” said Umar.

Owais actually did not know these men so he asked them who they were. “I am Umar ibn AlKhattab, the Khalifa, and this is Ali ibn Abu Talib, the man who came to Yemen to spread Islam,” said Umar.

“Yes! I remember him! But, how do you know me?” asked Owais.
So Umar told Owais the whole story about how the Prophet ﷺ had talked about him years ago and how Angel Gabriel had described him. They said how his signs were the mark on his shoulder, his care for his mother, and his lack of attachment to this world. He said how Prophet ﷺ told them that he would take 200,000 people with him into Paradise. They told him how they had been looking for him for years.

Umar and Ali then asked Owais to make duaa for them and ask forgiveness for him. “You are now my friend in this life and the next,” Umar said to Owais. However, Owais was not interested in the life of fame and ease that would come with being Umar’s friend, especially when people find out what the Prophet ﷺ had said about him. He kindly refused, and asked to be left as he is.

Owais said he was going to go to Kufa. “Would you like me to write to the leader of Kufa to await your arrival and look after you?” asked Umar.

“No thank you. I would like to go unknown as I came,” replied Owais.

“Ok then at least let me give you some money to help you out,” said Umar in an effort to do at least something for Owais. “No thank you, my wool coat has still not worn out and neither have my shoes. I have four dirhams that I have still not used. When I run out, I will figure out how to get more. I am content this way,” replied Owais.

“Please stay with me,” said Umar. “Thank you Umar. But what I have is good for me and what you have is good for you and the Muslims,” said Owais.

Owais left Mecca. He participated in the battle at Azerbaijan and died during the battle. His death came about 2 years after the death of Umar ibn AlKhattab. Owais was about 35 years old.


*This is one of my favorite stories. There are two things to learn here. One is the importance of taking care of your mother and that the reward for it is more than you can imagine.

Once a companion asked the Prophet ﷺ whom he should befriend. The Prophet ﷺ replied, “Your mother.” The Companion then asked, “Who after her?” “Your mother,” replied the Prophet ﷺ. Then Companion then asked, “Then who should I befriend?” “Your mother,” replied the Prophet ﷺ. “Then whom after that?” asked the Companion. “Your father,” replied the Prophet ﷺ.

So much importance is placed on the mother-not just taking care of her and feeding her and clothing her. Befriend her. Your parents should be your friends. Bir Al Waleedain, your obligation to your parents, is not just a material obligation like putting a roof over their heads and making a phone call every week. Its being their friend and having them be a part of your life, especially in their old age.

People say that Islam oppresses women, but how can anyone say that when they see a person like Owais, who will take 200,000 with him to heaven, just for sacrificing his friendship with the Prophet ﷺ to take care of his mother and for devoting his whole life to her. If you were in the same position, what would you choose?

Which leads me to the second lesson. Sacrifice. When you sacrifice something for Allah or leave something for the sake of Allah, Allah will reward you with something unbelievably greater than it. Owais didn’t get to be a Companion of the Prophet ﷺ because he chose to care for his mother, so Owais was given the honor of being his Companion in Paradise! This also goes for you in even the smallest things.

*Imagine how Owais must have felt to hear what the Prophet ﷺ had said about him!
*This story is also a reminder that our wealth, clothes and status are not an indication to how we are viewed by Allah. The story in the beginning of the man in the mosque was the Prophet’s ﷺ way of showing that to the Companions.

*Owais is going to take 200,000 people with him to Paradise! Even a martyr only gets 70,000.

p/s: There several different resources to take note, have varies versions. So will research more. May Allah forgive if any fabrication unknown or untrue part.

Terima kasih, Thank You, Syukran, Arigato, Shieh Shieh, Rumba Nandri, Kamsahamnida for reading this entry. Please do come again.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Tonight 14th October 2017

Auzubillahi minas syaitanir rajim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... Assalamualaikum...

Sometimes we just not sure of what we asked really for.

If that  is you want, then why the heart feel sad...

You always acting so strong.and you being good at it. As you been doing all of your lives till this age.

Alhamdulillah Praise to Allah, Ya Allah, Ya Rabb. Towards you I pray, I pray all the goodness that I could ask for, even all the bad things happens to me I'm very sure all has reasons In Sha Allah.

Hasbuna Allah wa ni'mal wakeel...

I know only You Fix my heart, help me change my self to be better everyday. In Sha Allah, if I fall down again, forgive me ya Allah, I'm just weak slave of you, make me strong day by day. In Sha Allah.

Terima kasih, Thank You, Syukran, Arigato, Shieh Shieh, Rumba Nandri, Kamsahamnida for reading this entry. Please do come again.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Khabar dari Kampung Baru Chenor

Auzubillahi minas syaitanir rajim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... Assalamualaikum...

Masya Allah, sudah lama kiranya ku tidak menulis disini. Bukan habuk tapi sampai tak Nampak rupa sudah.

Kenapa, saya tidak menulis, kekeringan idea? tiada benda menarik? Tidak jugak. Kadang2 malas nak tulis,lambat, perkara dah berlaku. Yep procrastination sigh my big problem :p.

Dan Cuma rasa tidak ada benda yang mendorong berat untuk menulis. Saya menulis disini bukan nak cari popular ^_^..tapi sekadar meluahkan rasa dan perasaan yang termampu terucap pada orang lain. Bila baca balik, ya Allah sungguh ku akui ku hanya banyak menulis ikut perasaaan tapi itu yang membuatkan ku mampu meneruskan kehidupan, dan mampu tersenyum. Malah terasa aku menulis hanya menurut kacamata ku. Ada yang ku persalahkan....sedangkan ada juga salah ku sendiri.

Hari ini Malam ini ku terdetik untuk menulis kembali. Mungkin campur English kot hehe...bagi saya ya tiada salahnya bercakap mix language kan?

There's no other boundaries except what Allah has lays on us. :) The world has no boundaries. No Races, No ethnic, No color, no language that define us, just our faith to Allah.

Anyway, I just wanna share today after 5 years holding it. Hampir 5 tahun yang lepas, dalam pertengahan tahun 2012, I was making and choose not easy decision. No one knows why I really did it. Banyak sebab kenapa saya pilih, I could have choose other path but I didn't. I can say its really not my first reasons or why I tender my resignation at Masterskill. 

I have a plan, some people misunderstood, but I guess in a way, Allah has planned it for me first without knowing it. But I accept it with all my heart.

Frankly, saya tidak boleh nafikan antara sebab saya hantar surat resign tu adalah kerana dia. At that time, memang dah lepaskan, tapi diri takut tidak cukup kuat untuk menghadapi. Sudah lepaskan sejak tahun 2011. Cuma rasa diri tak kuat dengan diri sendiri, risau kalau menangis tak tentu arah. Lebih baik, doakan kebaikan dari jauh sahaja. Tambahan pula Masterkill macam2 masalah. Rasa paling utama adalah rasa tidak senang dengan cara pengurusan, rasa kasihan pada pelajar semua. Rasa kadang tidak berkat. Kalau ingatkan balik macam2 sebabnya. Sekarang ni dah lupa, tak perlu ingat kan dah...hanya happy moments dengan sahabat-sahabat.

Lagi satu sebab rasa agak letih ulang alik setiap minggu dari Batu 9 ke Chenor. Tidak ingin mengeluh, tapi bila dengar keluhan mereka, hmm hanya saya sahaja yang tahu. Mak tak tahupun. Tapi bukannya buruk, orang yang alami sahaja yang akan faham. Kasihan pada Mak. Rasa kasihan pada kakak dan abang dan keluarga, serta kasihan pada anak2 saudara. Agak lama saya fikir. Memang lepaskan segalanya, hati tetap percaya pada rezeki yang Allah berikan dan akan berikan. Memang giat sebenarnye mencari dalam hati niat untuk mencari kerja yang lebih baik, interview dan sebagainya, sejak masa tender resignation lagi malah sebelum.

Tapi mungkin usaha masih tak mencukupi. Interview tapi rezeki orang lain lebih lagi. Pertengahan bulan 6 tidak silap saya, saya tekad untuk hantar surat, yang kelakar. Zizah dulu yang pergi resign ^_^. 

Pada masa itu masih kerap teringat pada Arwah ayah. Kiranya, saya fikir agaknya hingga sekarang, ayah saya pasti tidak setuju saya berheti kerja, yelah nak makan macam mana. Setiap hari mohon maaf, tapi kiranya agaknya arwah encik pasti faham kenapa saya pilih jalan untuk berhenti kerja. Ia bukan satu keputusan yang mudah tapi saya tetap lakukan. 

Bermula dengan sebab lain, tapi saya stay sebab lain. Mungkin Allah nak tunjukkan sesuatu. Mungkin juga sebab kesalahan saya yang lama terhadap orang lain, yang tak mampu saya bayar sampai bila-bila.

Apa yang pasti untuk buat keputusan ni saya Tanya dan bincang dengan Mak yang saya kasihi, boleh ke? Mak sanggup kiranya saya masih tidak dapat kerja, simpanan sudah habis. Macam mana nak makan dan hidup, mak kata, In Sha Allah rezeki ada. Saya bukan buat keputusan sorang2. Niat saya hanya ingin berhenti rehat sebentar, rasa lelah di KL, rasa penat duduk di KL. Memandu kereta manual bukan senang di sana. Dan sekarang, Allah telah tetapkan saya disini buat masa ini, di bumi chenor tersayang :). 

Dulu saya agak malu untuk share bahawa saya adalah penganggur, berhenti kerja dan sebagainya. Tapi kiranya perkara itu sudah lepas. Tapi bagiku, ini adalah perjalanan bagi setiap orang yang berbeza rezekinya. Dan rezeki itu bukan sahaja berbentuk wang tapi dalam pelbagai keadaan :)

Agaknya banyak yang ku katakan, agak terumbang ambing penulisan ku. Maaf, In Sha Allah lain kali akan ku baiki :)

Akhirul Kalam wassalam. 

Sunday, September 10, 2017

I still can't sleep :(

Auzubillahi minas syaitanir rajim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... Assalamualaikum...



Terima kasih, Thank You, Syukran, Arigato, Shieh Shieh, Rumba Nandri, Kamsahamnida for reading this entry. Please do come again.

Thursday, February 09, 2017

People always amaze me bout how really good they think they are. (Lies)


Auzubillahi minas syaitanir rajim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... Assalamualaikum... Terima kasih,

This is something I learned long ago and still are liking it...







Thank You, Syukran, Arigato, Shieh Shieh, Rumba Nandri, Kamsahamnida for reading this entry. Please do come again.

My Babbling

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